Hello, day drinking, our old friend. We’ve hung with you on holidays, during countless tailgate parties, and really, a bunch of times we probably shouldn’t have but did anyway because screw it, it was a hard week and we needed to crack a beer at 9 a.m.
When you think about it, day drinking is the true sport of kings. Yes, sports like basketball, football, soccer, and hockey take athletic prowess, but no sport (sans cricket, perhaps) lasts as long as a good bout of day drinking. That being said, day drinking ain’t easy. You can’t just go in blind and expect to have a good, enjoyable time. If you go too hard too fast, you’re going to be passed out by noon, giving your friends ample time to give you some new Sharpie tattoos.
With these tips and tricks, we’ll make sure that you can start and end any day drinking session like the Last Action Hero that you are.
Create a Strong Foundation
If you plan to drink from morning to night, you need to start off strong. Make a good, hearty breakfast to give you a good base from which to work from. Bacon, eggs, anything fried — all of this will help pad your gut for when you start your day. Not a chef? Go to Denny’s. Drink your coffee, eat your hash browns, and get ready to be a champion.
Plan Your Playlist
Ever been at a party where the music blows? The dude hosting the party would give anything to spend four minutes with Coldplay and his music reflects that. Even if you’re amped up and ready before you get to the party, after about 20 minutes, you’re looking at your watch or trying not to pass out on the couch. If music is going to be part of your day drinking adventure — and it should be, because good music makes any event better — make the playlist good. Make it something people can shout along to, something they can “dance” to, something that after 11 beers people believe they actually are part of the band, taking the bottle of Cuervo and using it as a microphone to belt off-key renditions of Bon Jovi’s greatest hits.
Know Your Booze
Know the booze you’re bringing and make sure you’re keeping track. It’s one thing to drink Bud Lights all day long. It’s a whole different ball game if you think drinking straight whiskey from morning to night is a smart idea. Think about the ABV of what you’re drinking and string the drinks along in proper amounts for your tolerance. Remember, they’re called session beers for a reason.
Seems obvious, right? Everyone has heard this from the first time they ever showed up at a frat party, worrying if the cops were going to storm it and steal their Solo cup. Don’t go hard right at 8 a.m. If you’re going to have a shot, great, do it up, but multiple shots before 10 a.m.? Probably not the best idea. Again, think about the ABV of the alcohol you’re drinking for the day and try and plan around it.
Water, Water Everywhere
Stay hydrated. You may not want to drink water but do it anyway. It’ll prolong your day and, hell, it’ll help the next day too. Future self will thank you.
Want something with bubbles? Check out these sparkling waters.
Plan Snacks and Meals
Same thing as step No. 1. Food is essential during a long day of drinking. You don’t want to take away from your buzz by having anything too heavy, but you need something in your stomach. Snacking on things like chips and salsa or guacamole are great as they are carbs and fats, but if an actual meal like burgers or hot dogs or ribs is going to be served, get yourself a plate. If you’re not hungry, tell your drunk self you need it and eat something anyway.
Put Your Phone Somewhere Safe
They say that nothing good happens after midnight, but when you are day drinking, your midnight might be 3 p.m. Friendships, relationships, and phone contracts have all been rent asunder by long days of drinking. Not only is it a practical thing — do you really want to spend all of the next day waiting to see if your iPhone dries out in a bag of rice after you dropped it while playing beer pong? — but you can avoid some serious drunk-text idiocy if you just put it somewhere safe. Think back to those college parties: How many times did it really work out for you to text and drink?
Now, what are you waiting for? Get out there and day drink!
Originally published August 13, 2017. Last updated July 13, 2018.
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