Sarong? But So Right; Meet the Brokini

Brokinis
Brokinis

Calling all Chads, Brads and any other self-proclaimed lives of the party. There’s a new must-have swimsuit for you to “send it” in whatever’s left of this summer while icing your homies. It’s not a speedo, nor a board short, but an entirely new category of men’s swimwear that perfectly pairs with your mango Juul. Enter: the Brokini. The Brokini is a cheeky one shoulder statement item that not-so-subtly shows off your quarantine abs and … well, let’s leave the rest up to the imagination.

The Brokini comes in two playful prints: Bromingo and Fineapple. It’s the kitschy weekend closet addition, amid your Monday through Friday Patagonia vest and khakis, otherwise known as the midtown uniform.  For only $40 you’ll be able to attract the vulgar attention of your dreams and continue to “disappoint your parents” as the brand so proudly boasts, though it looks like a thorough manscaping is required to pull off this look.

The Toronto-based company lives up to the infamous Chad and Brad, ex-frat star stereotype of blowing money on crypto between shotgunning beers and getting laid (or claiming to, rather). On their website the founders explain how they started the biz.

“We (the founders) excelled in high school and found classes to be a joke. We therefore didn’t develop any work or study ethic and spent most of our time playing hacky sack and sword fighting with meter sticks. We somehow made it into business school and were both perfectly mediocre and that is why we are stuck running a business that has thus far made -$5,326.87,” they said.    

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In an interview with Blogto, Brokini co-founder Chad Sasko said, “We started going to bachelor parties and wearing crazy bathing suits and then we actually saw a wrestling leotard online and thought, ‘Hey, that could maybe be a bathing suit’ … They were pretty awesome but they were actually see-through. We wanted to make something you could actually swim in so we started reaching out to manufacturers and found one.”

Through the satire of it all, the Brokini business might actually be onto something. At the very least, it’s a viral meme waiting to happen, but it could turn into more. Like many girls who coordinate their t-shirts and bathing suits for bachelorette parties, men are starting to do the same (remember those Romphim sets?). It’s a way of making a trip or event feel more special. The Brokini makes a funny photo opportunity and inspires you to party like a rowdy Sigma Pi pledge master.

If you’re looking for actual stylish swimwear recommendations, we’ve got you covered.

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