There was a time when folks wore Christmas sweaters in earnest. Bright, tacky, over-the-top Christmas sweaters once represented the unpretentious, unapologetic cheer and excess of the holiday season.
As a child, you might have snickered when your parents donned those lousy sweaters. As it turns out, time has yet again vindicated your parents’ fashion choices and brought back the ugly Christmas sweater.
In recent years, mass hipsteria and the rise of irony have helped elevate ugly Christmas sweaters to glorious new heights. Ugly-sweater-themed parties are popping up all over the place, and we’re here to make sure you’re not left in the snow when everyone else has their sweater game on lock.
A “good” ugly Christmas sweater is one someone might find unacceptably hideous or even mildly off-color. You know, like those movies that are so darn bad that they’re undoubtedly entertaining. If you can make a fellow holiday party-goers exclaim, “What the hell?!” or at least offend someone, you’ve found the right sweater.
For you amusement (and possible Christmas day fashion), here are the best ugly holiday sweaters we could find this season. Some of them might be a touch too much for Granny, so wear with caution.
Bikini Sasquatch – $42
Shirtless Santa – $27
Bojack Horseman Knock-Off – $27
Hannuka Faux-Sweater – $20+
Mazel Tov Faux-Sweater – $20-plus
T-Rex – $18-plus
Llama – $25
Classic Christmas Tree – $25
3D Stuffed Moose – $68
Donald Trump – $21-plus
Peeing Santa – $50
The Fresh Prince – $30
Yule Log – $45
Beer Pong Tree – $44
Gaudy Garland – $43
Classic Sweater with Faux Suspenders – $39
There you have it. With a little luck, you could impress your friends, family members, or coworkers with a truly awful Christmas sweater. Though your sweater will go into hibernation on December 26, you can bring it out next year and continue your new tradition — a tradition born not of sentimentality and goodwill, but of irony and cynicism.
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal.
(In case you’re looking for an appropriate holiday outfit, check out our guide to what to wear to a holiday party, then take a look at our gift guides, since you probably haven’t even started your shopping yet. If you need some tunage, we also have you covered with a playlist of Christmas music that doesn’t suck.)
Featured image courtesy of Ryan J. Lane/E+/Getty Images.