Banish Swamp Crotch with Pilgrim’s Machine Oil

Swamp crotch. There, we said it. Not because we take pride in talking about other dudes’ crotches or crotch maintenance altogether, but for all our manscaping efforts and attention to grooming, the majority of us carry on and pretend our nether regions are immune to itching, chafing and unearthly odors. They’re not. Enter Brooklyn Grooming, the all-natural, beard-care company, which may have just invented the perfect arsenal for nipping that unseemly phenomenon of swamp crotch in the bud.

Light, readily absorbed and made from highly emollient castor oil and rejuvenating Kukui nut oil, Pilgrim’s Machine Oil is designed to act like a coolant and lubricant for troublesome spots below the belt. Derived from tea tree, lavender and cedar wood oils, the trio of ingredients also work to heal and relieve the region in the absence of powders and creams that might actually promote inflammation, moisture and odor-producing bacteria.

“The challenge was coming up with a formula that would be relatively greaseless, with a pleasant scent and packaging that was unique, masculine and timeless,” says Brooklyn Grooming co-founder McKenzie Santiago, who tested a variety of powders and chamois creams only to realize the one missing ingredient in all was oil. She and business partner Alfredo Ortiz would name the product Pilgrim’s Machine Oil to convey the idea of a well-oiled body and package it in a convenient, 60-ml flask.

Pilgrim’s Machine Oil packs easily into any gym bag or suitcase, so you can lube up wherever and whenever. The added benefit, of course? Not having the entire locker-room know what’s going on with your package. Just the way we like it.

Available at