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Do You Have the Guts to Eat These Burgers on National Burger Day?

Each May 28th we come together as a nation, setting aside party politics, team allegiances, and regional rivalries to celebrate something we all love: the hamburger. Turns out, humans have loved cow for quite some time– they were domesticated about 10,000 years ago but it was only about 100 years ago we discovered we could slap meat between two slices of bread, add some fixin’s and be so happy.

In honor of 2017’s National Burger Day, we’ve compiled a list of some of America’s weirdest burgers.

The Vortex: Fat Elvis

The Vortex is a badass Atlanta institution with some of the most inventive burgers around and a very low tolerance for shitty customers. They’re famous for the Coronary Bypass burgers– anywhere from a single to a quadruple. The single Coronary Bypass is eight ounces of sirloin sandwiched between two bacon grilled cheese sandwiches in lieu of a bun. Add on 10 slices of American cheese, a fried egg, nine strips of bacon, and mayo, plus a side of tots, and the name starts to make sense. Multiply the ingredients as you add a bigger number in front of that coronary.

The-Vortex-Fat-Elvis
The Vortex, Fat Elvis Burger/Facebook Image used with permission by copyright holder

The Fat Elvis Burger, however, is one that’s truly for the gastricly brave. Named for the King (obviously), this is a burger piled high with bacon, fried bananas, and is smothered in creamy peanut butter. Yep, bacon, peanut butter, and bananas. Supposedly this is the burger version of the sandwich that kept Elvis’ hips swiveling.

Boneyard Bistro: Burn in Hell Burger

Sherman Oaks in Los Angeles is home to Boneyard Bistro, a slow-cooked barbecue heaven with craft cocktails, half-priced wine on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, and the Burn in Hell Burger. This is a burger your taste buds won’t soon forgive you for– it even comes with a written warning on the menu “No Mercy! No Refunds!”

Boneyard Bistro: Burn in Hell Burger
Image used with permission by copyright holder

They start with Snake River Farms American Kobe-style Wagyu beef, so it’s already off to a good start. Then they heap on poblano and jalapeno chilies, slather the buns in habanero aioli, melt on some Jack cheese, offer a slight reprieve with a slice of tomato, and give you a really satisfying crunch with tortilla strips. Eat and feel the burn.

Just remember: water doesn’t help when eating spicy foods.

Crazee Burger: Camel

Crazee Burger in San Diego is aptly named. If you’re looking for a unique burger experience, head on over. Sure, they’ve got the classic beef burger options, often with a twist, like the Nacho Burger or the Muddy Pig, which has Nutella, bacon, and caramelized plantains.

Crazee Burger: Camel/Kimberly B. via Yelp Image used with permission by copyright holder
But it’s their entire Exotic Meats section that takes the meat cake. They offer some relatively “normal” exotic meats like buffalo, gator (tastes like chicken), ostrich, and elk. But Crazee Burgers doesn’t smell crazy with two Es for nothing– they also serve a camel burger. Yes, a camel burger. The Camel Burger is topped with a Moroccan curry Hollandaise sauce. Because of course it is.

White Owl Social Club: Vegan Burger

We have to throw at least one veggie burger in here and, perhaps unsurprisingly, one of the best is in Portland, Oregon. This is a relaxed, chic restaurant offering up live music and DJs, and a great selection of beer, including a nitro tap.

White Owl Social Club, Vegan Burger/Facebook Image used with permission by copyright holder

They have plenty of meat on the menu, but their Vegan Burger is a surprise hit. And it’s also full of rather surprising ingredients. Beets, Wakame and Hazelnut patty, topped with pea shoots, carrots, and misonaise. Misonaise is vegetarian-friendly version of mayo that defies logic and is delicious. This place also gets a nod to their French Fries, which are crispy and perfect and should be savored, even on National Burger Day.

Burger Brasserie: 777 Burger

Only in Las Vegas are you going to find one of the world’s most expensive, decadent burgers. If you’re looking to drop some serious cash on a sandwich, head straight to the Burger Brasserie, an upscale sports bar connecting Bally’s and Paris Las Vegas. All of the food is extremely reasonably priced for Vegas.

Burger Brasserie: 777 Burger
Image used with permission by copyright holder

Until you rest your hungry eyes on the 777 Burger, named after its price tag: $777. This monster of a meal is kobe beef topped with huge pieces of Maine lobster, pancetta, goat cheese, foie gras (because you need more animals on this burger), and century-old balsamic. It doesn’t come with fries though; instead you get a BLT salad– you know, to be healthy– and a bottle of Dom Perignon Rosé champagne to wash it all down. The French Revolution would’ve started way earlier if this burger existed then…  

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Elizabeth Dahl
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