Skip to main content

Adult Happy Meals are here, you can finally stop lying about your age

Alas, the adult Happy Meal is here, fit with creepy toys and larger portions

Happy Meals aren’t just for kids. The world’s largest fast-food chain is now making an adult version of its famed meal in a box. And don’t worry, this adult Happy Meal comes with a toy.

Why, you ask? Nostalgia, of course. And because why not? The last few years have not been easy, making it hard to blame a company for wanting to throw a little manufactured joy in consumers’ general way. We doubt the new meals will be able to capture the electricity of your first as a kid, but even if they capture a bit of that, it’s hard not to call it a success.

McDonald's / McDonalds

McDonald’s officially launched the adult Happy Meal on October 1st, and they’ll be available as long as supplies last. And while the name conjures up a lunch or dinner with a nice glass of Merlot or a canned cocktail, it’s not that kind of grown-up meal. Instead, it’s a partnership with the brand Cactus Plant — officially called the Cactus Plant Flea Market Box. In it, you’ll find the standard trio of burgers or nuggets with fries and a drink.

There are presently four toys available, which harken back to the heydays of the food chain. The figures include Grimace, Birdie, and the iconic Hamburglar. There’s also a new addition named Cactus Buddy, that’s actually terrifying. In fact, per the Cactus Plant’s twisted look, they’re all terrifying. They have two sets of eyes and look as though they just might come alive when you’re not looking.

McDonald's

Is this happiness? Who knows. As a parent of two small children, it’s kind of nice to have an entire Happy Meal just for your grown-ass self. There’s the gratification of a tangible toy that accompanies your meal (even if it was engineered by Satan himself). And the larger helpings (the burger option is a Big Mac) is a fitting touch. But there’s as much happiness in a good taco or slice of Spokane-stye pizza.

There’s no blaming the multinational giant for jumping on the 1990s bandwagon. Actually, it’s a little surprising it’s taken this long, but we attribute that to likely years of focus groups, market research, and the like. History repeats itself and that’s only exacerbated by harder times. The tumultuous economy and socio-political climate of right now is having us look back, often fondly, at certain things (no, I don’t mean in a MAGA way). It’s why we’re instantly drawn to a Ms. Pacman arcade game or tie-dye shirt when we see one. We can’t even let the last Blockbuster on earth go away.

It follows a trend of fast-food restaurants expanding their offerings or bringing back things wildly popular items (like Mexican pizza). And because it’s McDonald’s, it will almost certainly be triumphant. It remains one of the few places one can go for a meal—at least in terms of calorie count—for under ten bucks. But maybe adults are too far gone for the sentiment of happiness in a box. It’s just as fun watching youngsters tear into a Happy Meal, if not more so.

Interestingly enough, the Happy Meal was born in 1979, with roots in central America. A Guatemalan woman engineered the original trio of menu items as a bundle for young parents looking to navigate the menu efficiently and get their kids properly fed. News of this spread to corporate headquarters in the states and soon, the title “happy meal” was born. Fast forward to today: In the U.S. alone, 220 million Happy Meals are sold a year. That’s more than 600,000 a day, for anybody keeping count.

So we find ourselves in 2022, with a version just for adults. We’re not really sure what that means.

Mark Stock
Mark Stock is a writer from Portland, Oregon. He fell into wine during the Recession and has been fixated on the stuff since…
No drinks ready for tomorrow? This last minute punch is here to save your party
Gin, sparkling wine, fruit juice, and fresh fruits - it's delicious and super quick
Aviation Gin Champagne Punch cocktail

If you're hosting friends or family for a celebration tomorrow but you haven't sorted out any drinks yet, then no judgment. We've all been there, when life gets in the way and you don't have time to get everything prepared as much as you'd like.

These situations are where I like to lean on my go-to punch recipe. Punch is a great choice for a casual party drink as everyone can serve themselves and you don't have to be running back and forth to the kitchen all day to fetch drinks. And this version is fruity but sharp, so it's ideal to sip for summer.

Read more
There’s a reason you can find good, affordable white wine more easily than red
A splurge that doesn't have to break the bank
White wine in glass swirling

For many occasions, be it an anniversary, birthday, work promotion, or just any old Thursday, we love to splurge on a truly great bottle of wine. To be sure, there are many options to choose from when it comes to prestigious bottles, and selecting just the right one is often part of the fun. But when looking for that splurge-worthy bottle, have you ever noticed that white wines are more often far less expensive than red wines? No, it isn't just in your imagination. The truth is, white wines - even the extraordinary, award-winning, impeccable bottles - are generally far less expensive than red wines of the same caliber. But why?

There is a simple reason white wines are generally cheaper than red. The production of white wine is a far less arduous and labor-intensive process than that of red wine. The white winemaking steps are shorter and less involved and, therefore, more cost-effective at the top, which trickles down onto the wine's price tag. Red winemaking has many labor-intensive steps that white winemaking doesn't (as often) entail, such as barrel aging and cellar storage. And, of course, the costlier the production process, the more expensive the product will be. Simply put, white wine is easier to make and, therefore, cheaper.
Don't judge the price tag

Read more
The 5 best soup recipes you must make in your own kitchen
Winter, spring, summer, fall — it doesn't matter — these soups are delicious any time
Jamie Oliver tomato soup

Most of us have memories of a good curative soup growing up. Mom's medical advice may not have always been based on real science, but she was pretty much always right. Get inside, wash your hands, and warm your soul with a heaping bowl of tomato basil, lentil, minestrone, or bacon celery root soup. It'll nourish your body and push away what ails you, no matter what time of year.

In fairness, there really is no bad soup; even in the summertime, you can enjoy a good soup. With a trusty base, you can throw in just about anything. But having tried some really fantastic recipes — chicken sausage, butternut squash, onion — we know that some are deserving of higher positions on your favorites list.

Read more