There are some trends that are here to stay: Barrel-strength bourbon, slim jeans, Subaru. But others, like the dad-chic fanny pack? We’re not as confident of its longevity. If you’ve seen Supreme and Yeezy flexing with this carpool-cool accessory and feel curious, don’t spend a few hundred bucks. Don’t spend 50 bucks. Thanks to Walmart and the Everest Signature Waist Pack
“Rad.” That’s the first thought we had when we came across the Signature Waist Pack. Just look at those pink zippers, vintage-inspired mountain silhouette logo, and angular build. If you’d found this at a thrift store buried under someone’s old wig, it wouldn’t have surprised us. But here it is, smelling of fresh manufacturing. While it might be at home in the Neon Nineties, it’s both new to you and new, period. Plus, you won’t have to put up with the surly vintage store staff and their judgmental side-eyes.
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The bag’s full polyester body hews true to the originals that inspired it, as well as many modern reproductions. While not as durable as leather, the synthetic fabric is perfect for summer, as it allows moisture to pass through rather than sealing in your flavor. Coachella? Bonaroo? Lolla? This is the perfect outdoor festival companion for midday sets and steamy nights.
Of course, beyond the aesthetic, waist packs are especially functional. This one has three zippered compartments for storage and organization of a film camera, iPhone, earbuds, and other everyday-carry essentials. Inside, there’s a ring to attach your vintage Mercedes spare key. The waistbelt extends to 59 inches, which is big enough for most while allowing you to gesture hands-free to your partner as you both attempt to scream over the thumping bass.
Of course, while this fanny pack has all the essential characteristics, its selling point is primarily its selling price. I mean, come on: It’s $4. Think of how few things you can get for that price:
- A cup of coffee, if you’re a cheapskate tipper
- One McDouble, but likely not two
- A one-way MTA fare
- Multiple U.S. Postal Service stamps
As far as we can tell, inflation has gotten so out of control that beyond the Everest Signature Waist Pack, there are few things one can purchase for less than a fiver. That extends to fashion accessories unless you’re making some kind of Lady Gaga-inspired McDonald’s codpiece. Made your mind on Dogecoin? You can find a Supreme Waist Bag Palace
