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In Defense of Cheap Beer, an Inclusive Beverage That’s Always Worth Drinking

Ryan Polhemus
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Beer cooler
Flickr/uıɐɾ ʞ ʇɐɯɐs

Of all the adult beverages in the world, nothing beats a cheap beer.

Hear me out. 

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Sure, there are better-tasting and boozier things to sip. There are regional distillates with thousand-year histories, artisan wines crafted by the same family for generations, rare Japanese whiskeys fetching outrageous prices at private auctions. There are outstanding IPAs, probably made right in your hometown by passionate artisan brewers. I’m not arguing that macro-brews are better-tasting or of better quality than any of these drinks. But as a total beverage experience no drink can compete with a cheap beer.

It promises so little, yet delivers so much. Microbrews threaten to blow your mind with hops and flavor. Always the darkest, the sourest, the dankest, they’ll have you lusting after limited releases, standing in line to drop half a paycheck on high-octane concoctions you can only drink two of before you’re annihilated, and they’re so pure and unfiltered that they’re liable to spoil if left unattended. Microbrews can be delicious, but it’s the wild west of the beer world, and there’s something to be said for the reliability of low expectations.

A true cheap beer is a low-cost, low-alcohol brew that isn’t out to impress anyone. Typically a lager or mild ale, it’s brewed by a big company with a name you recognize from their game-day advertising blitzes, which employ slow-motion aerials of snowy mountain ranges to showcase the beer’s patriotism and temperature above its taste, which is usually summed up as “ice cold.” Make no mistake, these beers don’t taste great, but that was never the point. Cheap beer is like duct tape: it’s inexpensive and reliable, has practically unlimited applications, and while using it in your car will probably get you in trouble, having some on hand in an emergency might just make you a hero. 

And this kind of attainable heroism is part of what makes cheap beer so special. Watch enough beer commercials and you’ll notice they’re not really trying to sell you beer at all, they’re selling you a lifestyle full of fun outdoor activities and nights on the town, and a mindset of hard-work rewarded with pure satisfaction. They’re selling you the promise that this beer is going to be here for you emotionally through the good times, and help make the hard times better. These aspirational ads may seem ridiculous (because they are), but they’re also full of people enjoying things together, which is ultimately what cheap beer is all about. 

Cheap beer is the most inclusive adult beverage on the planet. It transcends politics and culture — you can find a cheap lager nearly anywhere in the world and know exactly what you’re getting, and clinking yours against a stranger’s is an unmistakable gesture of goodwill. Cheap beer brings people together. It’s made for everybody (of legal drinking age), and doesn’t favor any palate or preference with too much style, flavor, or any adjective except maybe coldness — a cheap beer can never be cold enough. A wine or whiskey tasting is an exclusive, highbrow event, but cheap beer invites everyone to the party. It’s so inoffensive that even people who don’t like beer can enjoy one in the spirit of the occasion. 

That’s because cheap beer makes a celebration out of whatever’s going on. Cooking outside? Bring a six-pack of brewskis and suddenly it’s a barbecue. Eating a sandwich in a parking lot with a funny hat on? A cooler full of cold ones makes it a tailgate. Tarring the plate-factory roof with your fellow convicts in the spring of ‘49? Add a bucket of suds and suddenly you’re the lords of all creation. 

Cheap beer is a state of mind. It’s about accepting that not all things have to be perfect, that there is delight to be found in the simple beauty of everyday life. It’s about the celebration of common experience and the satisfaction of a job well done. Cheap beer is about community, about setting aside our differences and our preferences and coming together to revel in the moment. Just remember to keep it cold. 

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There's a wide selection of iconic craft beers and tasty cheap beers available to drink in cans and bottles. But nothing beats a good, heady draft pint served right from a tap or kegerator. As the name implies, a kegerator is a refrigerator that keeps a keg of beer cold and fresh while allowing you to dispense the contents from a built-in pressurized tap system on top.

However, it is a costly appliance, so it’s recommended to do your homework and invest your hard-earned money in a top-notch quality unit that will surely keep your beer fresh. To help you save time on researching the best ones, we’ve rounded up our picks for the best kegerators of 2023, with our selections ranging from on-the-go options to the most innovative dual-tap kegerators.

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When it comes to drinks, most generations have a hallmark party beverage that defines their college years, holding the power to flood them with a rush of nausea and fuzzy memories even decades later. For Gen-Z, that drink is called "Borg." What they haven't realized yet, though, is that this falsely fruity concoction has been around for years under the name "Jungle Juice."
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The Gen-Z twist, Borg, does have some clever upgrades, and for that, we give them due credit. Firstly, the rather gross-sounding name is actually a witty acronym for "Black Out Rage Gallon." We love that there's no beating around the bush with this generation. They know how to call a spade a spade. Second, unlike the communal trough that's used to dole out Jungle Juice, Borg is made and served in individual plastic jugs, cutting down on germ spread. We can appreciate that growing up in the days of COVID has made for some much healthier thinking. We also love that Borg can be capped, making it much more difficult for potential predators to tamper with a drink.
Of course, the optional addition of new ingredients like Liquid IV also help to curb the hangover that will undoubtedly come with drinking vodka from a plastic jug. That sure would have been nice back in the day.

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While some of that sugar substitution has been good for waistlines and health issues that come from obesity, it seems to be causing more and more concern when it comes to other potential health issues. "For example," says LeMoine, "some research indicates the popular sweeteners stevia may have negative effects on the gut microbiome. And the recent study showing correlation between the sugar alcohol, erythritol, and heart attack and stroke."

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