The Absolute Worst Movies to Watch with a Date

Hitting an arcade, grabbing drinks, or scouring a pumpkin patch are preferable first date ideas, but as the weather turns chilly, it’s OK to get “lazy” and suggest watching a movie at your place.

Keep your game up with a great bottle of wine, homemade pizza, a plush throw blanket, and the perfect flick.

Watch instead: Wet Hot American Summer

Requiem for a Dream (2000)

Genre Crime, Drama

Stars Ellen Burstyn, Jared Leto, Jennifer Connelly

Directed by Darren Aronofsky

Trying to avoid a mood of debilitating sadness and bleak emptiness? Cool, then don’t watch the 2000 psychological drama Requiem for a Dream. Adapted from the Hubert Selby Jr. novel of the same name, the movie follows different characters as their lives get as dark as imaginably possible. If you know anything about Selby Jr. it’s that his work is brutal, depressing, and exhausting. Now, 100% watch this film (and read the book) because it’s a masterpiece, but please don’t do it on a date. It may be the most emotionally persuasive movie ever made, turning the vibe way way down.

Watch instead: Memento

The Lord of the Rings

Genre Adventure, Fantasy, Action

Stars Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Liv Tyler, Viggo Mortenson, Sean Austin, Orlando Bloom

Directed by Peter Jackson

We don’t care if you have Frodo figurines and a Legolas costume in your closet, keep this fantasy flick to yourself, at least during the first month of dating. It’s a major tell — not bad, but there’s more to you than speaking Elvish. Plus, at 3 hours and 48 minutes for the first film alone, it’s too damn long. Your date will be eyeing the door and wondering how to slink out politely. Keep the early date movies to a two-hour maximum.

Watch instead: The Fifth Element

Leaving Las Vegas (1995)

Genre Drama, Romance

Stars Nicolas Cage, Elisabeth Shue, Julian Sands

Directed by Mike Figgis

Nicolas Cage forever, amiright? Well, not on the first date. Leaving Las Vegas is the story of an alcoholic who goes to Las Vegas to drink himself to death. He falls in love with a hooker but still drinks himself to death. Mood or no mood?

Watch instead: Gone in 60 Seconds

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)

Genre Adventure, Comedy, Family, Fantasy

Stars Johnny Depp, Freddie Highmore, David Kelly

Directed by Tim Burton

Weird flex. Very weird, not sexy, flex — especially if you’re choosing the 2005 Johnny Depp remake. Eerie, sort of sad songs haunt your living room as children explore a technicolor chocolate factory owned by an absolute psycho. There is no suiting scene to make a move.

Watch instead: Stranger Things

A Clockwork Orange (1971)

Genre Science Fiction, Drama

Stars Malcolm McDowell, Patrick Magee, Adrienne Corri

Directed by Stanley Kubrick

One of our favorite dystopian classics, and directed by Stanley Kubrick, A Clockwork Orange is sadistic, depraved, and full of violence. Not. First. Date. Material. If it doesn’t scare away your Bumble match, I’d be concerned. Basically, the main character commits sexual violence to the song “Singing in the Rain.” You make the call.

Watch instead: Pulp Fiction

Blue Valentine (2010)

Genre Drama, Romance

Stars Ryan Gosling, Michelle Williams, John Doman

Directed by Derek Cianfrance

It’s a love story, right? Ryan Gosling, right? Blue Valentine is about an out-of-love married couple who keep a big, sad secret. It’s painful to watch with someone you’re interested in. One, it’s never good to add Ryan Gosling to the equation, and two, don’t start your relationship thinking of how much people can change and fall apart.

Watch instead: When Harry Met Sally

Jack and Jill (2011)

Genre Comedy

Stars Adam Sandler, Katie Holmes, Al Pacino

Directed by Dennis Dugan

Comedy is a great go-to for a first date movie. Laughter is an aphrodisiac and lightens the mood. So why not play Jack and Jill, the 2000 comedy featuring Adam Sandler as both male and female twin leads? Sure, Adam Sandler is a funny guy, and at 1.33 hours, the movie fits our time suggestion … but out of all the comedies on this planet, if you pick this one, I hope your date never contacts you again. You don’t want mediocre, forgettable, moronic, or to be associated with diarrhea jokes. There’s a reason it has a 3% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Watch instead: The Wedding Singer

The Book of Eli (2010)

Genre Action, Thriller, Science Fiction

Stars Denzel Washington, Gary Oldman, Mila Kunis

Directed by Albert Hughes, Allen Hughes

True story: A buddy played this movie on a first date. After two hours of Denzel Washington wandering a post-apocalyptic wasteland where people eat each other, the date didn’t understand the big twist. Granted, some films are hard to understand (i.e. 12 Monkeys, Donnie Darko, etc.), but Book of Eli has an incredibly easy plot. So not only did this buddy and his date watch a super-non-romantic film, but he also found out immediately that it would never work out. Give your budding relationship every chance to grow by not playing this movie.

Watch instead: Mad Max

Bohemian Rhapsody (2018)

Genre Music, Drama, History

Stars Rami Malek, Gwilym Lee, Ben Hardy

Directed by Bryan Singer

It’s too freakin’ long and the mood shift toward the end creates an uncomfortable vibe. We’d rather listen to a Queen album and drink wine on the floor than watch this with a date.

Watch instead: Listen to a record.

Saw (2004)

Genre Horror, Mystery, Crime

Stars Cary Elwes, Leigh Whannell, Danny Glover

Directed by James Wan

In fact, never watch this and your life will be happier. Even if you and your date are into horror movies, go with a vintage classic instead of this gory franchise. Seriously, this will kill any semblance of a relationship (pun intended).

Watch instead: Get Out

Hairspray (2007)

Genre Comedy, Romance, Drama

Stars Nikki Blonsky, Zac Efron, John Travolta

Directed by Adam Shankman

If Saw is on one end of the do-not-watch spectrum, the 2007 remake of Hairspray is on the other. They’re both equally prohibited. Based on the Broadway musical, it’s a little “extra” to blast Hairspray and sing along to John Travolta’s part. A better bet is taking your date to a real musical or live play.

Watch instead: A play.

Eyes Wide Shut (1999)

Genre Drama, Thriller, Mystery

Stars Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman, Sydney Pollack

Directed by Stanley Kubrick

It’s a wee bit early to be getting sexual to the degree that Eyes Wide Shut suggests. It’s a nearly three-hour awkward-fest of Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman joining an underground sex cult. And while we’re at it, we suggest keeping the films Fifty Shades of Grey and Nymphomaniac off the queue. Overtly sexual films will not lead to seduction, and it’s rude to assume your date’s comfort level or sexual preferences or experiences. Keep things light.

Watch instead: Soul Plane

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)

Genre Horror

Stars Dieter Laser, Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie

Directed by Tom Six

If you have to ask why this is a no-no for a first date, just imagine what a centipede made out of humans might look like. Playing this movie brings a whole new meaning to the term “cuffing.”