James Cameron doesn’t want to hear your critiques of the way he writes dialogue

I recently wrote about why every guy should appreciate film noir. At the end, I offered a little advice about how to watch these old movies: Put down your phone. Turn off the lights. Pay attention. It turns out I wasn’t going far enough. Recently, I went to an actual movie theater to see John Huston’s 1948 classic The Treasure of the Sierra Madre on a big screen, surrounded by other people.

No phone. No pausing. No checking email. No fast-forwarding through a slow part or wandering into the kitchen to see what was in the refrigerator. For 126 minutes, I just sat in the dark and watched. What a concept.

It’s true that cigars are often paired with whiskey. But it’s also true that it’s not mandatory. If you frequent this space for tips on cigars, you’ll recall that yours truly prefers pairing cigars with coffee and Coca-Cola or Dr Pepper over whiskey and Scotch. That’s just a personal preference. There’s truly no right or wrong way to pair your cigars. Recently, I was offered the chance to pair a cigar with Isle of Skye Whisky’s new Cigar Reserve. I was initially skeptical because whiskey often overpowers my palate. For that tasting, I opted for Altura’s Third Harvest Lancero, and the experience was mind-altering, for the better.

Tequila can offer a similar experience. I had the pleasure of visiting the Cazcanes distillery earlier this year in Amatitán, an hour outside of Guadalajara, Jalisco. I rarely pair cigars with tequila, but when the folks at Cazcanes reached out about their cigar pairing experience, I was intrigued because their tequila lineup is outstanding. Earlier this year, for example, Cazcanes’ Nuestras Raíces earned a perfect 100 score from Wine Enthusiast. It marked the first time the influential drinks magazine awarded a spirit a perfect score in its 46-year history. I was reminded of the exquisite taste late last month after visiting Cazcanes’ booth at the 11th annual Barra México in Mexico City, the biggest cocktail event in Latin America.

Men have been thought leaders since the beginning of time. Aristotle’s logic and ethics, Confucius’s social harmony and duty, Machiavelli’s statecraft and political power, Gandhi’s nonviolent resistance and civil rights, Newton’s physics and mathematics- men have been at the forefront of thought at every turn. So why don’t men read more? Sometimes it feels like we have abandoned our place in society’s thought processes. When I ask men around me how much they have read or what they have read recently, I am almost always met with a sheepish look, saying they don’t read, or they mostly read sports columns. Now, there is nothing wrong with reading a sports column. Hell, I love arguing with a baseball writer year-round. But, sometimes, when you read something, you should be staring thoughtfully upward or outward while reflecting inward, wondering how to apply it to your life. That is why I started thinking about what books I would recommend to my friends. Many of them have no idea what the best improvement books are for men. Where they should start. What is worth reading and what is a bunch of bullsh*t.

So I put together a list of books that will change your life, as long as you stare outwardly or upwardly while reflecting inwardly.