The Anti-Valentine’s Day Gift Guide

 

Face it, Valentine’s Day is a lame holiday that greeting card companies like to capitalize on. If you’re single, it sucks. If you’ve just started to date a woman, it sucks. If you’re in a relationship, it sucks. Why celebrate your love for your significant other on this day when you should be doing it all the time? So whether you’ve just broken up with your girlfriend, or simply hate Valentine’s Day, here’s a gift guide for you.

The End Book Ends by Julia Chiang
Ready to break up with your lady? Send her these bookends to end a relationship gone awry.
$400 at pkshop.com

BitterSweets
Screw Sweethearts! These snarky treats tell it how it really is.
$10 at despair.com

 The Hell With Love: Poems to Mend a Broken Heart
Did your boy just break up with his girlfriend? Have him read this book of poetry to mend his wounds.
$5.98 at amazon.com

Best Night Ever Pint Glass 
Valentine’s Day isn’t exactly the “Best Night Ever,” but you can pretend it is with this pint glass.
$8 or 2 for $10, at urbanoutfitters.com

Single Button
Let everyone know your status with this “Single” button.
$3 at etsy.com

 Sculpt Your Own Girlfriend Kit
Can’t find the perfect girlfriend? This kit lets you sculpt your own.
$16 at presentprovider.com

I Love You, Not Bouquet
If you’re bitter towards your ex, this is a hilarious (or creepy, depending on how you think of it) way to let her know.
$30 at df.bigcartel.com

Bros Before Hoes T-Shirt
Forget women, it’s all about your bros. This t-shirt will let you and your homeboys tell it to the world.
$17.85 at amazon.com