Would You Light a Candle That Smells Like Chinese Takeout?

chinese takeout candle

Back in high school, I had a bizarre habit of buying weird-smelling air fresheners for the car, specifically those that hang on the rearview mirror.

Opting for scents that range from bacon to pancakes to new car smell, I’d hang a newly purchased amulet on my mirror and then never remove it. After a few years, the amalgamation of all the old scents had blended together to create what I can only describe as a smell unique to my own vehicle, but a smell that also resembled bad Chinese food — I’m talking General Tsao’s chicken, beef and broccoli, and the quintessential American-Chinese delicacy of “happy family.”

So, when I heard there was a candle created specifically to evoke the fragrance of a strip-mall Chinese buffet, I was all in. Perhaps it was a hankering to recapture my youth, perhaps it was a bit of nostalgia, and perhaps, further still, it was a desire to own something so ridiculously, patently absurd, that it would serve as a conversation piece for the rare moments when I actually have people to my home.

Either way, the fact is, there exists a candle that smells like Chinese food and you should own one.

The Takeout Candle from Cool Material is made from 100-percent soy, burns for over 80 hours, and offers notes of soy (sauce, that is), lemongrass, ginger, and other indescribable scents that, when combined, bring you that distinct Chinese takeout smell. What’s better, the candle is also made in America (just like fortune cookies). So, light it up and pretend you’re a New Yorker living above a Chinese buffet or simply set it out on your coffee table and admire the origami, paper carton design.

At $20, the Takeout Candle is a little pricey for something you’re probably not going to use very often, but again, it burns for a total of 80 hours. When you do the math, that comes out to a cost of 25 cents an hour — pretty cheap for a little light and a lot of smell.

We know a takeout-scented candle isn’t for everyone, so if the smell of lo-mein in the morning doesn’t do it for you, check out this awesome unscented candle created to mimic the eruption of Mount St. Helens.

Food & Drink

What Is Baijiu: 4 Brands to Try Right Now

Baijiu is one of the most-consumed spirts in the world. It's time to learn why.

11 Buzzworthy Podcasts Being Adapted Into TV Shows

Here are the latest and greatest podcasts to feature on the small screen, along with some rumored up-and-comers.

Never Neglect Your Nethers Again with Ballsy’s Line of Ball Care Products

Hygiene is undoubtedly important, but the proper cleansing routine for your undercarriage is even more crucial.

Porsche GT2 RS MR Destroys Lamborghini’s Record on the ‘Ring

Porsche's ballsiest 911 ever shaved another four seconds off its lap time to re-take the title of "King of the 'Ring."
Food & Drink

Nanopresso is the Go-Anywhere Personal Espresso Machine You Need Now

If you've got hot water, coffee, and a Nanopresso, you can make espresso anywhere.

Goto House Is the Hexagonal Home of Your Dreams

When your client is a skilled engineer, you know you have to come up with an architectural jewel of a home.

Find Perfect Harmony Between Architecture and Nature at Amangiri Resort

This secluded desert getaway is helping to reshape the idea of what Southwestern style can be.

How to Clean Your House or Apartment in 30 Minutes or Less

This isn’t a deep clean. It’s an, “Oh shit, I really should have done something earlier and now it’s gonna take a miracle to do this” clean.

Baby on the Way? Here’s How to Support Your Pregnant Wife

Pregnancy requires you to get proactive, pal. She’s driving the car, but you are the entire pit crew.

Dive In (Literally) to This Minimalist Lakeside Retreat in the Netherlands

Once the walls open up, you can dive right into the water from the living room.

An Old Garage Is Transformed Into an Artist’s Home and Studio in San Francisco

Yes, that's a red Fiat hanging from the ceiling.

From Milan to Mars, Architect Stefano Boeri is Creating Vertical Forests

A combination of housing shortages and climate change led to the creation of Vertical Forests which blend housing and landscaping into one amazing building.

What’s a Salt Cave and Why Are They So Damned Relaxing?

Experiencing Halotherapy in a salt cave can be pure relaxation or relaxing purification depending on how you look at it.
Food & Drink

Say No to Disposables with All the Best Reusable Lunch Gear for Guys

From straws to cutlery to sandwich bags, there's a reusable option for everything that comes with a traditional takeout lunch.