Look, I probably don’t know you personally, so don’t take this the wrong way, but I just don’t think you’re ever going to be the world’s strongest man. Or the fastest. Or the tallest. And you’re probably never going to own the world’s largest collection of stamps or bake the biggest cake or grow the biggest pumpkin.
But you know what you could do? You could set the record for the fastest mile run while wearing a cowboy hat and bathrobe and carrying two Greenwing Macaws. Or you could build the world’s largest penny-farthing bicycle. And maybe you could even set the record for eating the most Peanut Butter M&M’S while standing naked in Times Square, which would probably only be like, 10 or 15 minutes before New York’s finest took you down with extreme prejudice.
However, those easy-to-break world records are also — how does one put this? — stupid. Sure, you could be the first one to complete this or that inane or obscure or inscrutable goal, but it’s hardly an accomplishment if no one else will ever care. Instead, today we’ve found five easy world records — monitored by both Guinness Book of World Records and RecordSetter — to break that might actually get you a few free beers (or at least a nod of genuine admiration).