“Flat earth” — the idea that we’re not in fact living on a sphere, but rather on a dirt pizza, hanging stationary in space like a cosmic Christmas ornament — is among the whackier conspiracy theories of our time. So, Columbia Sportswear’s CEO decided to take a jab at it this holiday season by trolling — er, presenting — its proponents with a simple challenge, and a shot at glory and $100,000.
According to CEO Tim Boyle, the rules of the challenge, dubbed Expedition Impossible, are simple: “If you actually find the edge of the earth, snap a photo, send it to us, and you won’t just have bragging rights. You’ll have everything owned by the company*. All of it.” That includes “the mannequins, coffee machines, snowshoes, toboggans, office plants, even the taxidermy beaver in the cafeteria.” The assets are purportedly valued at $100,000. The photo, of course, needs to be authentic with no AI. We’re talking a full-on snap of the edge of the flat earth, staring out into the black abyss of space with clouds and water falling into infinity at your feet.
Boyle hopes that anyone embarking on the expedition will do so with the company’s own gear — hats, parkas, pants, the whole nine — since it’s designed to help you tackle just about anything. “If you’re going to the edge of the earth, wear Columbia. You’ll need it,” says Boyle. “Best of luck.”
If you’re up for the challenge, the bad news is that you’ll need to make your way to Antarctica, which means fighting off the armies of militarized penguins and warships that allegedly protect the icewall that surrounds our pizza planet. The good news is that there’s no rush. So you can take as much time as you need.
