Skip to main content

This Sprawling Irish Estate Puts the ‘Man’ Into Mansion with Its Own Go-Kart Track

Image used with permission by copyright holder

As if we needed one more reason to cut all ties and move to Ireland. When you consider the landscape, the culture, the food, the beer, the liquor (yes, we count those as two separate categories), the healthcare, and now this glorious mansion (emphasis on “man”), the list is getting pret-ty, pret-ty long.

Combining all the best features of a medieval baron’s castle and a modern man-cave, this five-bedroom, four-bathroom, 6,900-square-foot home in the appropriately named county of Moneymore features … well, everything you want. We mean everything. Don’t believe us? Keep scrolling.

Image used with permission by copyright holder

Just one look at the sweeping cobblestone entrance to this property and you’re going to throw away all your coffee table books on minimalism. The stately home occupies an elevated setting over the lush countryside of Ulster and is surrounded by 28 acres of pristinely maintained grounds.

Image used with permission by copyright holder

Despite its seemingly isolated location, the property is just an hour’s drive from most major towns, as well as Belfast International and City airports. The adjacent helipad makes it extra easy to whip in and out of your country estate, whether you’re meeting your mates for a pint in the village or swinging into London or Edinburgh to catch a show.

Image used with permission by copyright holder

Despite the palatial dimensions of the house, it’s really just a country cottage at heart. No Tony Soprano-esque interior design here — with honeyed oak flooring, exposed rafters, a glass-fronted fieldstone fireplace, and lots of big windows, this place feels like home right away.

Image used with permission by copyright holder

Culinary snobs will swoon over the open-plan kitchen with its granite worktops, sleek storage and ceramic tile back-splashes. We’re especially smitten with the pairing of country formal styling with top-of-the-line stainless appliances. Soft claps.

Image used with permission by copyright holder

Even with five bedrooms to select from, the master suite is appropriately baronesque. The vaulted ceiling, accented by exposed rafters, makes a perfect focal point for hanging your best taxidermy trophy. Two of the four other bedrooms feature en-suite bathrooms and dressing rooms. Now your guests will know precisely where they rank in your friendship roster.

Image used with permission by copyright holder

The master lavatory (deserving of such a name) includes a luxurious circular tub, double vanity, a slate-tiled shower so big you could get lost in it, and a walk-in hot press. We had to look that one up, and it doesn’t refer to the venerable Irish culture mag run by Niall Stokes — it’s actually a heated storage space used to dry damp clothing. Which, in Ireland, seems like it should be a human right, doesn’t it?

Image used with permission by copyright holder

Now we’re getting to the good stuff. First, the enclosed sun porch with its feature ceiling, sprawling views of the aforementioned manicured grounds, and double doors leading to a covered patio. Your parents will say it’s the perfect spot for sipping coffee in the morning and we won’t say they’re wrong … but we can’t help that the first thing we thought of was a Tullamore DEW-fueled rager. But to each their own.

Image used with permission by copyright holder

Next, the cinema room, which includes provisions for overhead projector and entertainment system. Please don’t miss the accent window with its stained glass coat of arms.

Image used with permission by copyright holder

Follow the hallway down from the cinema room and you’ll find yourself in the swimming pool complex. Enclosed by tinted windows (so you can get up to God knows what all in perfect privacy), the complex also features a hot tub, sauna, music system and feature lighting.

Image used with permission by copyright holder

Okay, we admit it — we’ve buried the lede. All that other stuff is amazing, but the real reason you need to buy this house is the 980-meter go-kart track positioned just outside the house’s main entrance. MSA-approved and built to the latest operational specifications, this amenity is the stuff that dreams are made of. It’s also surrounded on three sides by a thick row of trees, keeping your shenanigans safe from the prying eyes of jealous neighbors.

Image used with permission by copyright holder

In addition to all necessary flags, barriers and other accouterments, the go-kart track complex includes a race control office and a range of garage, parking, and workshop facilities, as well as an exterior viewing and patio area.

Image used with permission by copyright holder

We could happily live in the race control office, with its reception area, suit room, kitchen and bathroom, briefing area (which makes it all seem so much more adult), and winners’ podium (which immediately does away with the adult factor).

Image used with permission by copyright holder

Adjacent to the main track is a separate kids’ adventure complex, with a mini go-kart track, a forest walk, playground and picnic area. It’s the perfect way to convince your concerned parents that this isn’t a selfish purchase. It’s actually the perfect place to raise the family they keep pressuring you to start.

Rarely does the opportunity arise to acquire such an exquisite residence and leisure area in the Mid-Ulster Area … or anywhere. It’s offered at a starting price of over $2.8 million (£2.25 million) which, at the current exchange rate, is a pretty smokin’ deal.

If you should decide to make it your own, just remember we’re the ones who told you about it. (We’re fine with any bedroom, really.)

Chelsea Batten
Former Digital Trends Contributor
Chelsea Batten is a writer, photographer, and Kerouac groupie. One of the original digital nomads, she was seduced from life…
From Gilda Radner to Ali Wong, these are the best female comedians of all time
These women from all generations will make you laugh out loud
Ai Wong comedian 2017 Moontower comedy festival

Hot take: I don’t care for straight male comedians. It’s not that they’re not funny, they’re just … I don’t know, boring? Maybe that’s reductive of me, but I never seem to leave a straight male comedian’s set feeling particularly inspired. And though some may argue that it’s not important for a set to "inspire" its audience, I’d actually argue that the opposite is true. For me, I want to see a comedian use humor to address real issues and say real things about the world, even if they do it in a completely goofy way.

Therefore, I tend to prefer female and female-identified comedians. They’re sharp, tough, and have often seen shit that makes their comedy feel raw and true. Undoubtedly there are male comedians who do this, too, but to a much lesser degree, in my very humble and very personal opinion.

Read more
12 classic sci-fi books everyone should read
If you love science fiction and reading, these classic sci-fi novels are a must
Man reading a book and drinking coffee

It may feel like we were recently living in a science-fiction dystopia life -- and in some ways, we were -- but that doesn't mean that we should simply avoid an entire genre of writing. Hardly. In fact, this is probably the perfect time to explore classic sci-fi books, to see what the masters have written, and maybe even see if someone predicted anything like this. Many, though, simply ignore sci-fi wholly and completely because of an association with robots, aliens, and the like.

Long story short, if you think you don't like sci-fi, you have never read great books from the genre. But indeed, many such books abound, including a number that has delighted generations of readers going back well over 150 years. In fact, one of the best things about so many sci-fi books is their very timelessness. As by definition, this type of fiction breaks away from the norms of the everyday world -- whether slightly twisting things or taking place on entire other worlds -- the stories often feel as fresh and relevant today as when they were published decades ago.

Read more
The 7 best classic fantasy books to get lost in
Even adults can enjoy entering the fantasy world
Man reading a book

Using the term "fantasy" when it comes to fiction, we are admittedly casting a pretty wide net. After all, think about just how many shows and movies could technically be considered fantasy, too. If. we're talking about classic, canonical fantasy, though, the net shrinks considerably. If a book is to stand the test of time to be considered a classic -- regardless of genre -- it has to be damn good. At the risk of offending plenty of authors and fantasy fans both of yesteryear and today, most fantasy writing ... how should I put this? In a few decades, it won't be on some future writer's list of fantasy classics.

I say all that as an absolute fan of fantasy writing. From the Game of Thrones books, our era's Lord of the Rings, to the novels of Neil Gaiman, to the Twilight series (except not that), there is a plethora of great fantasy writing being produced today. But if you're looking to get into the genre or are already an aficionado with a few gaps in your reading list, classic fantasy novels are always a fine choice, as are classic mysteries, classic adventure books, and on it goes across every genre of literature.

Read more