The hospitality industry is sounding the alarm, arguing that hotel etiquette is disappearing. Guest behaviors —from ignoring quiet hours to leaving messes in rooms—have increased sharply, creating headaches for hotel staff. As travelers return in larger numbers post-pandemic, experts suggest hotel etiquette may be fading. But why are guests behaving differently in hotel settings, and are you one of them? We chatted with hospitality industry experts to discuss what makes a good hotel guest and how hotel etiquette is changing.
The etiquette evolution: Why guests are behaving differently
Experts say the rise in poor hotel guest behavior can be attributed to several factors, including post-pandemic attitudes, blurred boundaries, and the performative nature of modern-day travel. “Work-from-home policies and extended hotel stays have led many to treat hotels as personal spaces rather than shared environments, which, in turn, has led to an increased sense of entitlement,” says Joe Cronin, travel insurance expert.
The effect of social media
“Social media compounds this problem, as travelers focus on capturing and posting ‘Instagrammable’ moments more than respecting communal norms. Worse still, some go so far as to behave disruptively intentionally for online attention,” he shares. With social media setting the bar for etiquette, it’s easy to see why good guest etiquette is disappearing. Social media can give the illusion that each place should be magical, special, and custom-tailored to you and your every whim, or create false expectations. At the end of the day, even the nicest 5-star hotels in the world are still run by people — and people can make mistakes. People are human.
Blurred boundaries between public & private behavior in hotels
Blurred boundaries between hotels and home can also lead to unwanted behaviors by hotel guests, such as lounging in pajamas or other home-appropriate clothing, and getting too comfortable with facilities that impede other guests’ ability to enjoy themselves. Jason Fierstein, MA, LPC, founder of Phoenix Men’s Counseling, even says he frequently sees guests treat staff like their personal assistants.
Others say bad guest behavior has become more common recently because people arriving at hotels are tired or irritated (and other situational factors, such as the government shutdown). “Travel, lines, waiting around, unexpected itinerary changes, long flights, flight delays and cancellations, the stress of travel planning, and an unfamiliar environment all contribute to increased tension,” says Leslie K. Harris, Marketing Director and Purchasing Agent at Double Eagle Hotel & Casino.” In this situation, even a slight delay at the reception or a misunderstanding can trigger an outburst of rudeness.”
How hotel environments contribute
Some experts suggest that the hotel environment in itself may also contribute to tension and increased anxiety, and stress for travelers. “Because travelers are out of their routine and feel a loss of control. However, for others, it fosters a vacation mindset because they find themselves in an environment that is unrelated to their daily lives,” says Harris.
In these cases, these travelers are freed from their usual routines and feel a lack of familiar activities. “Furthermore, paying for their stay increases their sense of entitlement, leading them to allow themselves more freedom than they might at home. This often shows up in excessive alcohol consumption, late-night noise, disruptions in common areas, or misuse of the buffet. This happens because the person feels relaxed and forgets that other guests nearby also need comfort and rest,” she shares.
The guest advantage
As a hotel guest, you should call out unruly behaviors, model appropriate behavior, and report incidents as necessary to help support staff struggling to manage poor guest etiquette. Additionally, experts say politeness remains an effective tool. “Guests who treat hospitality professionals with respect will likely have their needs met quickly, as these staff members are more likely to go above and beyond for a polite guest,” Cronin says.
How to be a good hotel guest
As a traveler, simple steps and a rising awareness can help you become a “better” hotel guest. This includes thinking about others, such as your temporary neighbors, and returning to the “treat others as you want to be treated” principle. According to Fierstein, even small gestures can go a long way toward supporting hotel staff, such as leaving a small tip or folding your used towels before putting them on the floor. Tiny gestures can show you respect the people cleaning up after you and show that you thought about how you treat the room you’re leaving.
At the end of the day, the same hotel etiquette used years ago should still apply today. Many hospitality industry experts say it comes down to today’s technology-focused era, which has caused people to forget how to be human and treat others in a humane way. Those who treat hotel and housekeeping staff with kindness and respect are more likely to see staff pay it forward, receiving upgrades, acts of gratitude, and faster service for requests.
