It’s no secret: I am one lucky son of a bitch. I get to travel all over and write about it. Regularly, I will randomly pick up on a Tuesday and find myself in Bermuda, Kenya, Hong Kong, or Rome by Wednesday. Sometimes, I will even plan it. It is a complete 180 from where I was in my life before the pandemic. I was deep in the trenches of the Monday-through-Friday, nine-to-five lifestyle. I was eight rounds in on the bout with the Joneses and believed I could catch up with them if I only worked harder, saved more. The truth was, I was already putting in sixty hours a week and depriving my life of the things that would truly help. I discovered the hard way that, once I achieved the thing I was working for, once I bought the car, wore the suit, got the raise- I was still empty. I couldn’t figure out what it was that was missing from that life. Until the pandemic laid a side quest in front of me.
Once I was laid off from the law firm I’d put my whole self into for the previous four years, I was free. It was ten seconds of sheer panic followed by the largest weight I didn’t even know I was carrying disappearing from my shoulders. I could disappear myself, explore the world passing me by the last half-decade. So I did. I started writing full time and lived in Airbnbs for a month (or three) at a time in different cities. I discovered myself, discovered what destinations had to offer. I found the joy in my life. And it always came on the other side of a side quest. Can’t quit your job and travel the world? That is ok; I have tips you can do from home. Over an evening. Over a weekend. Over a week’s vacation. The point is that your life isn’t boring; you’re just in campaign mode and forgot the open-world model allows you to explore the world at your fingertips.
Discover
When I worked in an office, my entire life seemed to revolve around it. I would live and die by what happened behind that office door. I didn’t even have a window to stare out at the Portland cityscape. So, what would I do? Nothing. I would stay within it. Then I found an underground city tour just a few hours away in Seattle. That was a simple thing I could have feasibly done in a day. Although I could have made a weekend out of it easily enough. I also discovered a tiny house getaway on Mount Adams, even closer. I spent an entire week there with no internet. Just got lost in nature, even closer than I was in Seattle. I then discovered somewhere that is still one of my favorite places to disappear to: the Inn at Spanish Head in Lincoln City, Oregon. That was my often-used weekend getaway spot. All of that was available to me even when I was putting in all the time at the office.
The point is that it is easy to say you don’t have time, but discovery isn’t far away. It is right out your door. And you can do it from your bed or your couch as well. I decided I wanted to learn American Sign Language once. All it would take was an hour a night on the couch with an app on my phone. That fell away because I didn’t understand why the hand gesture for yes was my fist moving up and down, but the hand gesture for no wasn’t side-to-side. I mean, what is that about? Anyway, the point is that I discovered something new from the comfort of my own home, and that side quest started to quench the thirst for knowledge and curiosity.
Connect
I was obsessed with succeeding at that law firm. Everything I was and everything I owned and everything I wanted to own was wrapped up in my success there. That is great for the business. Hell, my boss loved that about me. I took their sales from $285K a year to $2.4 million a year. But what I learned was that my entire identity was handcuffed to being focused entirely on those sixty hours. I lost sight of who I was outside the office. I lost the ability to see my friends. I lost the ability to look in the mirror and see anything other than my occupation.
That is when I began soul-searching and connected not with who I was at that time in my life, but with who I wanted to be in the future. And who I wanted to be in the past. One of the side quests I suggest is to ask your ten-year-old self what is something you would love to do? What would that kid think was really cool? The answer spanned everything from climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, entering the Great Pyramid, finding King Solomon’s Mines, or doing a triple-feature at a movie theater with Hot Tamales, Reese’s Pieces, and Skittles (one for each movie) along with refillable popcorn and soda. I bet you can figure out which won out. One day in a theater watching three movies, I felt like a kid again. You can connect with others. But make sure you connect with the most important person, the version of you you want to be.
Face a fear
I might have said this before. But I am terrified of water. When I found myself in Bonaire a couple of years ago, I had just made the commitment to say yes to everything. Entering the “Yes Phase” of my life. If someone asked me if I wanted to try something (vegetables and seafood exempt, of course), then I would say yes. Especially if my first instinct was to say no. That was the exact moment the universe looked at me and said, “Bet.” A dive instructor invited me to go scuba diving. Of course, I panicked the first time underwater, and she told me three things to remember when diving:
- Let go – You’re trying to control everything out of fear, and you can’t control this environment. Just let go and be.
- Breathe – Almost everyone who gets injured doing this is because they panic and forget to breathe. Nothing will happen down there that you can’t breathe your way through.
- Have fun – This is supposed to be a good time, and they wouldn’t do it if it wasn’t reasonably safe.
I did it. I went 40 feet under the surface and had the time of my life. And I take those three pieces of advice, and I think about them anytime I am about to do something I am afraid of. Facing a fear is, well, scary. But what is it that Will Smith said? “Almost everything you could ever want in life is on the other side of fear.” This may be the most meaningful side quest you go on. Even if it is something as simple as telling someone how you feel. It is scary, and it will change your life no matter the answer.
Find stillness
Remember that last piece of advice? Breathe.
This is the part that most high earners and high achievers forget about. A side quest is great. Lots of fun. Lots of excitement. But the piece you need to remember is that you need to find a way to get away from everything. Unplug. Remove yourself. Disconnect from the world so you can reconnect with yourself. So what kind of side quests are you looking for that cover all of these things? That is up to you. Maybe you need multiple ones. Maybe you don’t. If I were to choose a side quest right now to get away from editing this publication and reconnect with myself and my life, here is what I would do:
Five days near a beach. A book to read every day that is outside my usual genre. A letter to write to someone in my life I hadn’t spoken to in a long time. Surf lessons a couple of times during the stay. If I bring someone with me, I am trying to reconnect with them, date nights most nights. But at least one day for each of us to be on our own. 24 hours of solo time. Lots of beach time staring at the waves, preferably watching the sun appear or disappear.
Don’t overthink this. Take yourself out of the grind and re-embrace the side quest in your life. And make the ten-year-old inside you proud.
