The electronic klaxon of my iPhone shattered my inebriated slumber. Good morning, Johnny—it’s Auntie Chastity, rasped the cigarette-cured voice. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d spoken to my grandfather’s sister. I have sad news, muffin. Uncle Chip has gone to his reward. He had a heart attack in a Bangkok hotel room. An awkward pause stretched for several beats. I tasted bile and bourbon coming up. Anyway, pumpkin, you’re listed as a beneficiary in his will. Uncle Chip left me money? I heard papers shuffling, something metallic clanging. No, but he did leave you a watch. It’s a ‘Payteck Philip-y. Holy s***—a Patek? I shot upright.
The Patek arrived, and I rushed online to see what kind of cash it might fetch. But upon closer inspection, my glee curdled into despair. Uncle Chip had commissioned a laser engraving on the caseback—a depiction so obscene it would have sparked public protest in Sodom and Nineveh.
Simon Lazarus, head of PR and Content at Chrono Hunter, an online watch exchange, confirmed that the watch was unsalable given Uncle Chip’s “creative” modifications—but he graciously offered advice on how to service and care for it. At the risk of scuttling any prospects for future public office, I resolved to wear it. Thanks to Simon’s counsel, the naughty Patek still purrs like a pussy cat—which, I suspect, would make Uncle Chip smile from on high.
Here’s everything you need to know to take immaculate care of a luxury timepiece.
Pick the Right Insurance Plan
Theft, water damage, bar fights—shit happens. Prudence requires insuring your expensive watch.
Before purchasing a policy, take your timepiece to an appraiser and compile documentation like receipts, serial numbers, service history, and photos.
Stanhope Insurance specializes in luxury watches, and Chrono Hunter offers insurance referrals for clients who buy through its platform. Unless your watch is exceptionally rare or valuable, you won’t need an in-person appointment. You can secure most policies over the phone or online.
Read the fine print to avoid unpleasant surprises. Some policies exclude theft, loss, or incidents abroad. If the value of your watch appreciates, update your policy every few years. Should disaster strike, act fast: file a police report and contact your insurer immediately.
Service Your Watch Regularly
A mechanical watch is a miniature engine, and like a luxury car, it needs periodic maintenance to keep humming. Routine servicing not only ensures accuracy but also preserves long-term value.
Resist the temptation to drop it off with the local jeweler; take it to a brand-authorized service center or retailer. Luxury watches require technicians with the proper tools, training, and access to factory parts. Entrusting it to an unauthorized repairman can void the warranty or botch the movement.
The ideal service interval depends on the brand and your lifestyle, Simon told me. Rolex recommends servicing about every ten years, while Patek Philippe and Audemars Piguet advise every four to five. Vintage pieces—or watches exposed to saltwater, dust, or hard knocks—require attention more often.
Touch Up Your Watch at Home
In between professional servicing, give your watch a light cleaning every few weeks, especially after travel. Grab a soft microfiber cloth, a bowl of lukewarm water with mild soap, and a toothbrush to reach the nooks and crannies of the bracelet and case. Gently scrub, rinse with clean water (only if the watch is water-resistant), and dry with a microfiber cloth. Let it air-dry completely before strapping it back on your wrist Note: Avoid chemical cleaners, paper towels, or hair dryers.
Respect Your Watch’s Limits
Most dress watches can handle light rain, handwashing, or a splash of champagne—but they’re not built for laps or deep dives. Unless your timepiece is a dive watch or rated above 5ATM, like the Rolex Submariner or Omega Seamaster Diver 300M, remove it before swimming.
As Simon reminded me, avoid exposing your watch to hard knocks, moisture, extreme temperatures, magnetic fields, or harsh chemicals. It should go without saying, but take it off before rough-and-tumble pursuits like go-karting, touch football games, or shibari.
Store Your Watch Like a Pro
As with fine whiskey, store luxury timepieces in a cool, dry place away from sunlight and humidity. When it’s not on your wrist, keep it in a safe. If you don’t have a mounted safe, consider a safe-deposit box at your local bank.
I store my collection in a Case Elegance Military Watch Box. The container fits neatly into my safe, holds up to ten timepieces, and allows me to admire my lineup through a glass display. A discreet drawer beneath stores watch tools, cufflinks, collar stays, and suchlike.
If you own an automatic watch, consider a watch winder. The motorized device gently rotates the timepiece to keep its self-winding mechanism lubricated during intervals of disuse.
When traveling, carry watches in a travel roll or watch pouch. Brands like Wolf, Rapport, and Globe-Trotter are the gold standard. Always keep watches in your carry-on, never in checked luggage. Hotels are notorious black holes for expensive timepieces—store them in the in-room safe, not your suitcase.
Keep the Box and Papers
The box is not just packaging—it’s provenance. A timepiece’s original box can add thousands to its resale value. “Should you sell your watch in the future, having the original box is paramount to authentication,” Simon told me. “It’s difficult to get the highest price without it.”
Also, high-horology houses pour sweat and treasure into designing their boxes—miniature tabernacles for precious cargo. Alongside the box, safeguard authentication papers, warranty cards, manuals, and service receipts.
Engrave Your Watch
Uncle Chip, that deranged old coot, had his foibles—but he understood the classiness of engraving his watches. An engraving on the caseback transforms metal into memory. Mark a milestone, your initials, or a thoughtful message. Engraving is a delicate art, best left to hands as steady as a surgeon’s, so find a reputable jeweler. I recommend Allon Zohar, the owner of Iconic Timepieces in Manhattan.
