One of the most frustrating moments in any man’s style journey is when your wardrobe starts to feel stale. No matter what you do, you feel like everything you put on is old, boring, or tired. You try to switch it up. You pair it differently. It just lost its luster. The truth is, it happens to all of us. But the people who struggle with it the most are middle-aged men. With a specific focus on dads. Middle-aged men are too young to resign themselves to not caring about their look anymore. They are too old to dive into the trends with the changing of the fashion winds. So many of them throw in the towel. Add to that overwhelming feeling being a busy father, and there is just no way to spend the time and energy on rebuilding a wardrobe. That is where Megan Collins comes in. Her business, Style Girlfriend, takes men and restores their confidence from the ground up with new, elevated, and evolved stylistic choices.
When you have one outfit you love, you wear it. When you wear it, you notice how much better you feel. Then, you want another outfit that gives you that same feeling. That’s how confidence builds. Not all at once, but one good decision at a time. – Megan Collins, Founder, Style Girlfriend
Your permission slip to try
The truth is, most guys feel it is too late. They have a look. Adam Sandler or Carl Winslow. The dad look. It is who they are. What they are expected to be. That makes it difficult to go out on a limb and take chances with trying new things. When I first got into the style business, I was a jeans, t-shirt, and backwards hat kinda guy. I still am when I am at a ball game or at home reading. But I never felt comfortable in anything else for a long time. It wasn’t until I tried new things (when I moved to a new place and no one knew me, giving me the freedom to reinvent) that I began feeling confident.
“The resistance, I think, comes in worrying they’ll be judged. For making the effort and getting it “wrong.” It can feel embarrassing to be seen trying. By the time you’re in your 40s or 50s, you’ve probably built a career, maybe raised some kids. You’re in a groove in a lot of areas in your life. There’s a sense of, why go out on a limb with my fashion? At Style Girlfriend, we’re all about handing out permission slips to try. Because we believe guys of all ages deserve to feel like the best version of themselves. That’s the whole idea behind Reset Mode, too. It’s not about forcing a guy to become something he’s not. It’s about removing the friction built up over the years that convinces him that trying something new just isn’t worth it.”
Remembering the reason
For most of the men I worked with, they didn’t want to think. Clothing was nothing more than a uniform. Simple colors. Basic looks. Nothing fancy. While it is definitely easy, there is no confidence brought by the outfit. Most of these men never even thought about what they wore on a daily basis. So becoming stale was only a matter of time. So how do you fix that? Step one: remember there is more to your clothing than a simple uniform. Or, even better, keep thinking about it as a uniform, but remember the purpose of the uniform.
“Most guys think the problem is that they don’t know what to buy. The real problem, though, is they’ve forgotten how they want their clothes to make them feel. Yes, clothes are a utility, but the whole trajectory of your day can change when you put on an outfit that makes you feel like a million bucks. And what feels great to one guy can feel totally wrong to another. Most guys would benefit from starting a mood board of outfits that they like. Maybe it’s a Pinterest board, or images saved to a private folder on your Instagram. Anything to start the wheels turning in your brain of, ‘Oh, I like a chore coat.’ Or bright colors. Or muted colors! Whatever resonates with you, you’ll start to see patterns in the pictures you save. From there, you’ll better understand how you want to show up in the world and what to shop for. Anything else is just playing dress-up.”
Intention goes a long way
Now that you have the desire to think of your clothing differently, the next thing Megan wants you to focus on is how those clothes are intended to make you feel. They’re not a uniform for work. They are a uniform for confidence. A uniform for life. Once you remember that, you start shopping in a different way. She doesn’t want to throw you in the deep end with this transformation; she wants to take you through step by step (small step by step).
“From a young age, women are encouraged to play dress-up and express themselves through fashion. Men are taught to avoid standing out. So trying something new – from a patterned blazer to a statement pair of sneakers – can feel surprisingly vulnerable. The funny thing is, most men’s style transformations are actually pretty subtle. We’re not putting guys on Reset Mode crazy outfits. Usually it’s better-fitting jeans, upgrading a shoe, or simply swapping out an old sweatshirt for a newer sweatshirt! The changes aren’t dramatic because they don’t have to be. They’re just intentional. And intentional goes a really long way.”
3 tips to elevate
Ok, Megan, I see you. I hear what you are saying, and I am bought into the idea. I want to elevate. I want to reset. What do I do? What steps do I take? I am a guy, and I follow directions to put IKEA furniture together. So give me a manual to do this. Where do I start?
- First: stop shopping for the guy you were ten years ago. And look, we all do it. We reach for the size we wore in college, or the brands that counted as an upgrade when we got our first paycheck. Instead, push yourself to shop for the life you actually live. No one can see the size on the tag, and what once felt like a splurge might now be something you’ve grown beyond.
- Second: give yourself permission to experiment. If there’s a trend you’re curious about, try it! You don’t have to commit to wearing it for the next decade. Clothes are meant to be worn, enjoyed, and eventually replaced. You don’t have to marry any clothing purchase. You just have to like it enough to wear it now.
- And finally: try things on. I know that sounds incredibly basic, but so much shopping anxiety comes from buying online and hoping for the best. Hitting your local mall and spending thirty minutes in a fitting room can save you time shipping ill-fitting items back. Or worse, years of wearing something that almost fits.
Megan Collins calls herself the “Ultimate Wingwoman.” If you find yourself ready to jump into the Dad Reset or are just looking for some quick and easy guidance to level up, she is ready to help at Style Girlfriend.
