With apologies to MI6’s Quartermaster better known as Q, we just don’t need a guy like you these days, because we’ve got A, better known as Amazon. Gear that seemed (and was) truly cutting edge in the age of Sean Connery’s James Bond movies is now just a few clicks away and available to all.
From miniature cameras to compact radios to watches with laser beams, you can get all sorts of amazing gadgets that will let you channel your inner Bond, whether you’re swaggering into the high roller room at a casino, or sneaking into a heavily defended government facility in an unnamed Eastern European nation that’s on the brink of a violent coup staged by a former high level army commander who just escaped from jail with the help of international terrorists.
OK, so actually there are no laser watches on this list, nor should you interfere in foreign affairs like that. But if you want some everyday awesome stuff that’s good clean fun and will make you feel a bit more like 007 without the actual risk to life and limb, not to mention risk to the fragile peace of aforementioned unnamed nation, you’re in the right place.
A Matchbox-Sized Translation Device
Buy at Amazon
This device is literally the same size as a matchbox — like one of those long, thin rectangular ones, too, not the bulkier kind. It plugs into the bottom of a smartphone (there’s a model for either iOS or Android) and it features a four-way speaker that can detect multiple voices at once and can translate in real time between two languages, each displayed on one half of the screen. The ZERO currently supports languages (in multiple accents) and more will be added over time. So if you need to conduct shady dealings in an alley off Red Square, tell your contact in Caracas where to expect the next dead drop, or ask the guy at the railway station when the next express train to Zurich is, having just missed your ride, you’re all set.
A Drone You Can Tuck in a Hip Pack
Buy at Amazon
OK, maybe hip packs aren’t very 007, but that was to illustrate how compact this thing is. Folded down, the D68 measures just 3.6 inches by 6.8 inches so you can stash it pretty much anywhere. Once you need to start tailing your foe or doing reconnaissance on that suspected secret base, the drone can be controlled at a distance of over 1,600 feet, keeping you out of harm’s way, and can fly high enough not to be heard while still collecting crystal clear data with its high definition camera. And unless you’re following Usain Bolt, its 25 mph top speed will keep this thing on anyone. And yes, it will also work well for non-nefarious duty like following your friend’s kickass ski jump or giving a bird’s eye view of the music fest.
A Camera So Small You Can Hide It Anywhere
Buy at Amazon
This camera is about the same size as large gum ball and can be clipped to clothing, secured to a hard surface, perched on a shelf, or tucked away unseen just about anywhere. But it will see plenty thanks to its high definition sensor, 100-minute battery (or infinite run time with AC power), and automatic night vision. Whether used to catch your pets being wacky or your foil being espionage-y, this capable little camera is well worth its modest $33 price tag.
A Secret Compartment Coin
Buy at Amazon
Need to slip a micro SD card to your handler? Or tuck a coded message away for your fellow agent or your SO? Or need to smuggle something even more nefarious? Then these secret compartment coins are the way to go. Also, they’re good conversation pieces. The coins lock shut and can only be opened when a subtle key mechanism is activated with an included device; they won’t pop open on their own. And given that these are made from actual U.S. coins, they really will pass muster if someone inspects one.
A Night Vision System for Your Car
Buy at Amazon
Need to tail someone on the road at night without being seen? Then kill the headlights, of course. But it’s still a good idea if you can see where you’re going, so attach a LANMODO unit to your dash and see a crisp view of the darkened road out to nearly 1,000 feet ahead of your vehicle. The large 8.2-inch screen will help you safely drive in poor lighting or in rain or fog by creating a clear view that you can use to cross-reference your own eyes looking out the windshield or, with some practice, can depend on for driving in truly low-light conditions.
A Multifunction Utility Tool… with a Flask
Buy at Amazon
Bring that martini with you and it will shake itself right up inside the VSSL Flask, a military-grade metal flask that can secure nine ounces of beverage that also comes with a multifunction LED flashlight, a reliable oil-filled compass, two collapsible cups, and a hidden compartment where you can stash the Goldeneye plans.
A Superlative Cigar Cutter
Buy at Amazon
Bond would never submit his fine cigars to an inferior cigar cutter, and neither should you. This Colibri V-Cut is a fine price given its ease of use and reliably clean cuts, and it can be used on stogies rated up to 60 gauge or with even slightly larger rings. And if you choose to use this bladed device as a method of coercion against your foreign counterpart, that’s on you. But don’t do that.
A Classy Martini Glass
Buy at Amazon
Daniel Craig’s Bond may not give a damn if his martini is shaken or stirred, but any classy gent still wants it served in a fine glass. And these Extreme martini glasses from Riedel are certainly that. The brand explains that the name comes from the “extreme” contours which seems a bit of a stretch, but regardless, Riedel makes world-class glassware and this set will look as in style a generation from now as it would in the hands of Connery’s Bond.
A Tux That Cost Less Than $200 (But No One Will Know)
Buy at Combatant Gentleman
You probably don’t need a tuxedo that often, and when you do chances are you’re renting it anyway so it can match all the other guys in the bridal party, but it’s still an item every man should own, and must own if you want to channel J. Bond. And as you can now own a tux that looks just fine for less than two hundred bucks, why not? This 100% wool exterior and blend-lined tux comes in enough sizes to suit every secret agent and with pants that can be hemmed (or tailored) for a perfect fit. Combatant Gent also offers tuxedos that cost less than $100, but this one is your best bet for style.
