The Ultimate Luxury Gift Guide You Can’t Afford (But Wish You Could)

It’s no fun ballin’ on a budget.

But since you’ve been a very good boy this year, it’s time to whip out the credit cards and warn the bank you’re going shopping for the most extravagant gifts on the market. Rare, handcrafted, bigger, and better, these luxury presents include $325 pure ice cubes, a private island off the Persian Gulf, submarines, cars, booze, and other goods that offer comfort, affluence, and adventure.

Print out this list and write “To Santa” at the top.

Michael Kors Shearling Coat – $1,998
Michael Kors Shearling Coat

As if seeing male model Baptiste Radufe wear this Chino-colored luxurious shearling wasn’t enough to convince you it’s a necessary buy, shearing off nearly two grand from your savings seems comparable to the unbelievable softness of the 100-percent dyed fur. You’ll wear this jacket anywhere from a 5 a.m. coffee run in December to New Year’s Eve party to just binging trashy TV shows from the couch. Luxury tip: Only dry clean with a fur specialist.

Splurge

Steve McQueen’s 1945 Willys Jeep MB – $102,500-$128,000
Steve McQueen's 1945 Willys Jeep MB

Start the holidays early by gifting yourself a 1945 vintage U.S. Army Jeep that was once owned and driven by the coolest man to ever walk the planet: Steve McQueen. Set to be auctioned at the NEC Classic Motor Show Sale in November 2018, the Willys Jeep was fully recommissioned and renovated by leading UK Jeep experts to make it purr (or grumble) like new. The car is being sold with a Certificate of Authenticity from the Steve McQueen Estate Sale.

Splurge

Al Marjan Island – $462,000,000
Al Marjan Island

At 115 acres, the island of Al Marjan feels closer to a private world than just an island. Located in the Persian Gulf and backed by the meditative Arabian Peninsula, Al Marjan Island enjoys sun and sea year-round (move there full-time knowing world-class Education and Health facilities are accessible in close proximity to the island). Of course, the island comes with an airstrip, pristine beaches, mainland power, and best of all, some damn peace and quiet. For the man who hates being around people, give him the gift of solitude.

Splurge

Asprey Ritz-Carlton Drink Trolley – $78,000
Asprey Ritz-Carlton Drink Trolley

Like booze? Store it in this two-level steel and glass bar cart that costs as much as a car … but this stores whiskey so it’s obviously more useful. Made in collaboration between Asprey and the Ritz-Carlton, the design inspiration came from mixing Art Deco with modern cleanliness “because our design inspirations came from our archives — a time when barware was at the height of fashion,” says Asprey’s Ciara Hurley-Stewart, head of retail marketing and partnerships. “We incorporated modern elements in keeping with our current and new barware collections.”

Splurge

Johnny Walkers Masters’ Edition – $25,000
Johnny Walkers Masters’ Edition

Like a bow on a car, no new bar cart is complete without a bottle on top. Better make it Johnny Walker Masters’ Edition triple-matured Scotch whiskey that costs a hearty $25,000 a bottle. Only 100 bottles have been created since the rare whiskey inside was aged for 50 years. Even the cabinet and numbered, double-cased black crystal Baccarat decanter it comes with are dripping with luxury. After all, the wooden case was made by N.E.J. Stevenson, Cabinet Makers by Appointment to Her Majesty The Queen.

Splurge

C Seed 262 19-Foot Television – $539,000
C Seed 262 19-Foot Television

All-at-once minimalist and so, so extra, the C Seed TV is a ginormous 19-feet long, officially making all other TVs on the planet obsolete. The widescreen has a 4K LED display and uses black LED technology for heightened image contrast. Six high-end speakers are integrated for cinema-esque surround sound. The only challenge is finding a wall where it’ll fit. Oh, and installation is an additional cost, but who’s counting?

Splurge

Gläce Luxury Ice Cubes -$325
Gläce Luxury Ice Cubes

For a truly decadent on the rocks experience, Gläce is helping us shun machine-made ice (usually made with impure tap water!) that can contaminate the taste of high-quality spirits for their engineered “zero-taste” luxury ice that provides minimum dilution of your $25,000 whiskey but maximum cooling. You’ll be sent both Mariko sphere ice and G-Cubed ice in a sealed pouch.

Splurge

Super Bowl Ticket – $17,500
Super Bowl Ticket

Super Bowl LIII is scheduled for February 3, 2019, but now is the time to buy your lavish seats. A spot on the fifty in row 12 of the Mercedes-Benz Stadium in Atlanta is running $17,500. You’ll need at least two, if not three, so let’s safely say $52,000 will be your admission to the big game. These pricey tickets also gain you access to the all-inclusive Premier Party, meet-and-greet opportunities, and all-inclusive tailgate food and drinks during the game. We won’t pay $12 for a stadium hot dog, but this seems worth it.

Splurge

Clive Christian Original Collection Travel Colognes – $595
Clive Christian Original Collection Travel Colognes

Normally one bottle of Clive Christian Original (widely considered the most extravagant and expensive cologne in the world) runs $575 a bottle so we suggest picking up the travel collection, complete with the three masculine scents — 1972, No.1, and X — that make up Christian’s iconic Originals line. This sampling from the British perfume house includes three 30 ml bottles (about the size of a small dropper), so use sparingly.

Splurge

Personal Butler – $50,000-$150,000
Personal Butler

Bruce Wayne has a butler, so why shouldn’t you? If you’re a busy man who could use the gift of time, look into hiring a skilled, trained, professional butler. While plenty of apps can give you access to errand-butlers, there’s nothing luxurious about that. The International Butler Academy states a butler should set you back $50,000 to $150,000, plus benefits. But that’s less than your 19-foot TV so hey, you’re being thrifty. If your needs are more suited to a cook, chauffeur, or governess, well, here you are.

Splurge

Bang & Olufsen Beosound Speakers – $4,266-$46,926
Bang & Olufsen Beosound Speakers

Art meets sound in the Beosound wireless wall speaker system designed by Bang & Olufsen. This network of hexagonal, wall-mounted tiles can be connected (and moved again) any way your soiled heart desires. The system integrates noise dampers for truly out-of-this-world, luxurious room acoustics. A basic kit starts at $4,266 and includes eight tiles. Keep in mind not all the tiles are speakers, but dampeners to absorb sound, amplifiers, etc. Build up to a symphonic 11 amp units if you’re trying to ball without a budget.

Splurge

Ortega MK1C Personal Submarine – Contact for Price
Ortega MK1C Personal Submarine

Ortega, a company out of The Netherlands building “the fastest commercial submarine in the world,” has swiftly topped our list to Santa. About 20 feet long, the MK1C submarine seats three — each seat is equipped with SCUBA gear and digital displays. Built for uncharted territories, this sub is both a tough-ass mofo and super easy to operate and handle. Add the Sonar Scanning Package to the sub’s programming and go wreck hunting. Store on the stern swim platform of your yacht, of course.

Splurge

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