Men have been thought leaders since the beginning of time. Aristotle’s logic and ethics, Confucius’s social harmony and duty, Machiavelli’s statecraft and political power, Gandhi’s nonviolent resistance and civil rights, Newton’s physics and mathematics- men have been at the forefront of thought at every turn. So why don’t men read more? Sometimes it feels like we have abandoned our place in society’s thought processes. When I ask men around me how much they have read or what they have read recently, I am almost always met with a sheepish look, saying they don’t read, or they mostly read sports columns. Now, there is nothing wrong with reading a sports column. Hell, I love arguing with a baseball writer year-round. But, sometimes, when you read something, you should be staring thoughtfully upward or outward while reflecting inward, wondering how to apply it to your life. That is why I started thinking about what books I would recommend to my friends. Many of them have no idea what the best improvement books are for men. Where they should start. What is worth reading and what is a bunch of bullsh*t.
So I put together a list of books that will change your life, as long as you stare outwardly or upwardly while reflecting inwardly.
Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds by David Goggins
We should start with a controversial selection. Goggins makes one primary assertion: We only capture 40% of our potential. He is one of the most trained people on the planet. SEAL training, Ranger training, etc. He has accomplished extreme athletic feats that most of us wouldn’t even attempt. He has spoken about running long distances on broken bones. And he routinely calls people weak and lazy if they aren’t the same.
So, why recommend this book? Because this thinking is the eventual result of unresolved trauma. It is the result of processing your emotions through pain and burning your emotions off through physical exertion. When I was in the Army, this was the basis of basic training. Break you down to nothing and then build yourself back up. This is a book every man should read because the 40% that Goggins says you use should be found through mental toughness, and nobody will help you find that better than Goggins. The value in Can’t Hurt Me is learning what you should take away from reading (or advice) and what you should not listen to. Discerning what you should absorb. Take his lessons on mental toughness and mental fortitude and apply them to your life.
The rest? Try therapy or sitting with a good friend with a good drink.
Masks of Masculinity by Lewis Howes
Starting as a young boy on a farm with the toughest men I have ever known, growing into an athlete playing baseball and basketball, and finally in the United States Military, I found myself exposed to all of the malnourished male egos any man could want. I learned things like “man up,” “sacrifice the body,” “pain is temporary, glory is forever,” “ignore and override,” and “adapt and overcome.” These were said to entice men to push beyond their pain to accomplish the goal. They are also used to hide behind, refusing to process your emotions, and grow. We hide behind masks, and in this book, Howes (a former athlete) defines all the masks we hide behind and teaches us how to shed the mask for a more authentic version of manhood.
The Joker Mask hides behind humor, the Material Mask hides behind luxury goods, and the Know-It-All Mask has to be the smartest in the room. Learn what insecurities you hide behind and become unbridled from them.
Iron John by Robert Bly
What does it mean to be a man in 2026? In the age of feminism, many men have discovered that everything they were taught growing up now seems to be viewed as toxic or problematic. Every instinct you have is wrong. Every coping mechanism is outdated. That is where poet and storyteller Robert Bly came in with his solution to the modern man problem.
He takes the Grimm’s Fairy Tale of Iron John and weaves into it more modern interpretations of fatherhood, mentorship, and rites of passage many feel are missing in today’s modern man. Narrative storytelling while teaching the men of today that the old ways aren’t problematic or antiquated, but instead are simply misunderstood in today’s world.
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey
When a book becomes a cultural moment, people pay attention. When it is fiction, the likes of Harry Potter, The Da Vinci Code, or Twilight, it overtakes the cultural mindset of the masses, then needs to be constantly reinvented through spinoffs, sequels, prequels, or movies to remain relevant. When it is something meant to help you level up, it needs no updates. Forty million copies sold in three decades takes the idea of The Seven Habits:
- Habit 1: Be Proactive
- Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
- Habit 3: Put First Things First
- Habit 4: Think Win/Win
- Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
- Habit 6: Synergize
- Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw
And applies them to your professional and personal life in ways that promise you will never be the same again. Understanding before making your case, preparing yourself for the work, running with a plan- all of these concepts change everything about your experience and the way you integrate into the world that change you from worker bee to CEO simply in your mind and approach…with the real-life application to follow.
Mindset by Carol Dweck
It is what it is. When was the last time you uttered that phrase? Most likely it was as recently as today. The concept of the phrase is a good one. It helps you let go of those things you can’t control. It lets you accept the world as is so you can shed the frustration of the lack of control over it. And, “it is what it is” can also be detrimental to your growth. Dweck, a world-renowned Stanford University psychologist, introduces the world to the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. The fixed man, the one who believes he has a lot in life. His skills and abilities are bestowed upon him, and his destiny is set precisely where he is. The growth man, the one who believes he holds the reins to his chariot through life and can change his stars; his destiny is what he makes of it.
Now, as simple a concept as that is, there is an art form in knowing what to accept and let go of, and what to grab the reins to and attack from a growth standpoint. Mindset will help you develop that art form and apply it to your life.
Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin
SEALs are some bad men. They are the tip of the spear of the United States Military, and we men have a hard time not looking up to them at every turn. When a SEAL speaks, we listen. That is why Extreme Ownership quickly became a bestseller. Not because “big men do big things,” but because SEALs are taught leadership in the most dire of circumstances. Willink and Babin call on their time leading SEAL Team Three’s Task Unit Bruiser to bring the insurgent-held city of Ramadi back from the brink of being lost to teach men that leadership is multifaceted and, while determined by the circumstances, is never changed by them.
The book is used in their company, Echelon Front, to help businesses and leaders become the best they can be by teaching them resilient mindset and total focus principles that enable SEAL units to accomplish the most difficult combat missions. While you may not be in a place where it is life-or-death dependent on your decisions, you will be prepared to make those decisions with the calmness, coolness, and foresight as if they are.
Dressing the Man: Mastering the Art of Permanent Fashion by Alan Flusser
Every man should be able to dress well. To take ownership of his look and understand the message it sends. That is why men have trusted Alan Flusser for decades. He is the owner of Alan Flusser Custom in NYC, but his influence goes far beyond the five boroughs. He designed the wardrobe in classic-style movies like Wall Street and American Psycho. And he has written multiple books on men’s style, most importantly, teaching men that the clothing should accentuate your lines, not hide them.
“For the first time, American men realized that clothing should not be worn to hide the natural lines of the body, but, rather, to conform to them, thereby enhancing the male physique. At the same time, clothes should not be too obvious. Instead, they had to become part of the man who was wearing them. The idea of clothing was not to set the man apart (as had been the case for centuries, when kings and noblemen dressed primarily to accomplish just that) but to allow him to be an individual among individuals… Americans had finally learned that the goal of good clothing was to flatter rather than be conspicuous.” — Alan Flusser
The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday
Stoicism is one of the most sought-after philosophies for men everywhere. Even men who don’t understand Stoicism or cannot define it look for it naturally. The idea of taking everything that stands in your way and turning it into the opportunity to become stronger in the face of it is what many of the greatest leaders of all time have been able to do. Ryan Holiday found his way to the top by taking the principles of Stoicism and living them into one of the biggest and best media empires the world has ever seen. This is one of the ten books he has written, and may be the most impactful for your life.
“The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” — Marcus Aurelius
The Manual Library begins to grow. Read along with us as we build it out to answer every question, satisfy every curiosity, and fill every need, all while sitting with a good drink and/or a great view.
