Known by various names, from Dirty Santa to Yankee Swap, the larcenous idea of a White Elephany is that everybody in the group — office party, family gathering, bowling league, etc. — brings a gift of a pre-set value (let’s say $10). Unlike Secret Santa, this custom offers a bit more bloodsport: Gift Receiver No. 1 opens a present, then Gift Receiver No. 2 opens a present. Here’s where it gets interesting: if No. 2 likes No. 1’s present better, then No. 1 has to relinquish the gift. And so it goes, right down the line, where — depending on your group’s rules — the last person to open a present is allowed to choose from any previously opened gift for trade. Hilarity ensues. Hopefully. (Note: Get the exchange over with before too much eggnog is consumed. Wrestling at a holiday party is not a good look.)
As if there isn’t enough pressure on holiday gift-giving, the (usually) low price point and lack of a specific target may leave you momentarily baffled at the vast array of potential gifting choices. Our advice? Go funny. Go wide. Go selfish. You never know — play your cards right and, at the end of the round, you just might end up getting back your own gift.
Practical Gifts
Lottery Tickets
All it takes is a dollar and a dream, right? Look, if it’s the winning ticket, you’ll never forgive yourself, but think how much fun you’ll have at the winner’s early retirement party.
Low-Denomination Gift Card
Because nothing says you care like a gift card that looks like you didn’t spend any time thinking about it, other than the five minutes while you were waiting in line at the grocery store.
Socks
Come on. It worked for your aunt every single year when you were a kid.
Homemade Gifts
Mixtape
Because everyone needs to understand how friggin’ cool Mongolian throat singing, the pop stylings of Pavarotti, or the complete masterworks of DEVO truly are. Admittedly, this goes a little above and beyond in the dedication department, but it’s an awesome opportunity to really pour some of your own personality into creating a truly unique gift.
Scarf
If you can knit, this one is where it’s at. (You could also just buy one.)
Party Mix or Cookies
Why buy a bag of Chex Mix when you can make five times the amount at home for the same price? And then give it away. You can do the same with cookies or any other little treat you happen to know how to make.
Cheap Gifts
Grab a bucket. Fill it up. Tie a bow on it. Done. It could be auto car products, a bunch of coffee mugs, or a hodgepodge of useful little items every day. It won’t cost you much and it will probably end up being the most fought-over present. Enjoy the spirit of giving.
Boozy Gifts
Make sure your gathering is age-appropriate, but this oldie but goodie offers a chance to show up with something that warms more than just the heart. Get bonus points by producing a hand-lettered label for the bottle.
Gag Gifts
36-Pack of Toilet Paper
What’s more practical than toilet paper? Pretty much everybody uses it, and the extra-large, gaily-wrapped package is sure to generate a lot of interest … and a lot of ribbing of both giver and receiver.
Joke Book
We’re relatively certain that there’s a toilet paper joke in here, somewhere. Given the current crop of interest in dads — from jeans to jokes to commercials — a dad joke book is sure to brighten things up around the holiday table.
Fake Poop and Other Gross Things (Within Reason)
We’re not quite sure how fake poop ever became … well, a thing, but let’s just go with it. Think of it as a really colorful manure to help stimulate creative growth.
