Toilet Talk: How to Relieve Yourself in the Wild
Whether you’re avidly seeking to save the environment one shit at a time, or one who chooses to steer clear of danger while doing manly things in the wilderness, this guide on how to shit in the woods will come in handy sooner or later.
Until 206 B.C., which is believed to be when China invented the first water closet system (what we call outhouses today), man was shitting in the woods without a worry in the world. But there came a time where defecating in the woods indiscriminately just didn’t seem right anymore. Knowing how to shit in the woods became unpopular because it would attract predators, made it hard to create a community with such waste, and quite simply — smelled awful. So…
Fast forward to the 21st Century and around 7.9 million people go backpacking every year in the U.S. — that’s not even counting casual campers or day trippers. Some backpacking trips can last multiple days, weeks, or even months, depending on your ambitions as an adventurer.
Now, the average person poops at least once a day (I’ll let you do the math, cause it’s a crap load). However, the math isn’t important. The real problem that surfaces is one to note and can be found in any typical campsite or natural wilderness — countless wads of toilet paper. Do bears shit in the woods? Sure they do, but they don’t clean up after themselves like the Charmin Ultra commercials suggest. This is human waste that’s disposed of in the wild, which is both disgusting and detrimental to the world around it.
Although we’re now comforted with modern outhouses that collect our bowels, there will come a time when you really need to go and there is no latrine in sight. Depending on your location and estimated stay time, your method to finding the perfect defection spot may be different, but the major points will always be the same. We’ve gathered some tips and info on how to shit in the woods here for you, to make sure your disposal is safe and environmentally friendly.
Unlike the confides of your own home, there is more than one way to dispose of your feces in the wild. Here we’ve listed such methods that will focus on steering away from possible water contamination, tricking hungry animals such as bears and raccoons, and maximizing a beneficial impact on the world around you.
Take it with you:
This might seem unflattering and gross but it’s the best way to keep the environment clean. In many places across the U.S., rivers and streams aren’t an unusual find and being able to find an applicable location may be difficult. That’s why you should look into getting a sanitary, convenient cleanwaste portable toilet from WAG, which features hand sanitizer, toilet paper, a secure zip-close disposal bag and deodorizing materials. This is the best way to make sure you leave the environment free of disease.
Dig a hole:
If the portable lo0 disinterests you, you’ll need a shovel like this easy to transport and durable Coghlan’s backpackers trowel. If you’re in a flat landscape and at least 200 feet (if not more) from a water source and you’re able to dig a hole about six to eight inches deep — do it! Always try to dispose of your poop in the ground and cover it back up with dirt, twigs, leaves, anything.
This way, people can’t unintentionally transport your remains and spread disease, and it won’t be easy for animals to track it. Good ole Plain, white, unscented toilet paper is the only socially acceptable waste item to bury with your poop (But when in doubt, pack it out).
Note: If you’re camping, make sure you are also at least 300 yards, downwind from your site before you do your business. It’s important to keep threats away from your livelihood and food supply.
Maybe you’re scaling a cliff or you’re in a rocky area where digging a hole isn’t an option. Well then alternative methods become necessary. If you find yourself needing to go number two while rock climbing, you could toss your feces down the mountain to dispose of it.
If you’re on a rocky hillside and can’t find sufficient digging dirt, the appropriate form of disposal would be to wipe your remains on a rock to let UV rays do the sanitizing.
Yes, these are not the most ideal forms of disposal, nor are they encouraged in any way; but, if you’re mindful of the water sources and possible people below then you’ll cause little harm.
Tip: If you happen to not have anything to wipe with, don’t reach for the leaves first. Believe it or not, a smooth rock will be your best bet to cleaning up after yourself. Like the alternatives above, this should be your last option.
Now, whenever those unforgivable bowel movements take control unexpectedly in the wild, you’ll have many combat methods to put into practice.