The Best Sleds For A Grown Ass Man

sleds

In case you were unaware, winter is coming.

In many parts of the northern hemisphere, the season has already effectively arrived, despite the fact that winter does not officially commence until the Solstice on December 21st. With the winter comes the cold, the darkness, and the snow. While there’s not that much to celebrate about the frosty temperature and the short, often dreary days, at least all that snow means a chance for lots of outdoor playtime.

And if you thought playing in the snow was an activity reserved only for the kids, then mister you are dead inside. And maybe outside, too — get that checked out.

Fresh fallen snow offers the chance for a spirited snowball fight, building material for forts and/or snowmen (or snow women. Or just say snowpeople to be sure noone one gets offended), and of course it means you get to go sledding! But you can’t go sledding if you don’t have a sled, can you? No, you can’t. And you, big adult man that you are, won’t fit on a tiny little kid’s sled, will you? No, you won’t.

But don’t worry, there are plenty of adult sleds out there that allow even a grown ass man like yourself to rocket down the hill so fast you’ll make Chevy Chase’s epic run from CHRISTMAS VACATION look like a walk in the wintery park. Or at least they’ll help you have some fun.

THE FLEXIBLE FLYER HURRICANE $30

1

This extra large inflatable tube measures 56 inches in diameter. It is more than large enough for two people to enjoy at the same time, provided that at least one of said people is rather small. As in maybe your son or daughter, or your oddly diminutive friend or partner. The Flyer has four handles, which also adds to the fun when two riders share the tube or when the one rider is in fact Vishnu. The “Cold Crack” PVC material of this “sled” should see it last well through several seasons of winter fun. And it’s yours for only around.

THE PRO EXPEDITION SLED $40

2

This large plastic sled was actually designed to be loaded with gear and towed behind a cross country skier or used by search and rescue professionals. So don’t worry, it can safely accommodate the load that is yourself. At sixty inches in length, this sled allows even a taller adult to use it while sitting down or while lying prone, provided he assumes the proper “bent at knees, neck resting precariously on edge of sled and sure to be injured by that jump” position. And sure, if you want to load it up with gear and set out on an overland (or over snow, that is) expedition, you go right ahead. This sled is only about $40 and change.

THE HAMMERHEAD SLED $150

hammer-head

The Hammerhead Sled represents a modern update on the classic wood and iron toboggan (the kind Calvin and Hobbes were always comically crashing post philosophical chat). It features a lightweight but durable tubular aluminum frame that is powder coated to resist rust and corrosion. Its skis are made from a rugged polycarbonate material that will last for years even if you sled daily during the winter season (which… you won’t). And perhaps best of all, unlike with most sleds, which rely on a mix of leaning and luck for course correction, this sled allows for genuine steering. Take control of the slopes for around $150.

THE SNOW SAUCER

saucer

So long as you’re comfortable sitting cross-legged, fully abandoning even the semblance of control, and almost definitely ending up ass-0ver-teakettle, then a classic snow saucer is a great choice as an adult sled. Look for a model made from steel if you prefer the old fashioned style, but also consider a lighter weight version fabricated from fiberglass. The model we looked at measures 32-inches in diameter, which is more than large enough for most adults to mount and then fall off of. It’s up to you whether or not you grease the bottom. Prices vary — shop around!

THE AIRBOARD FREERIDE $600

3

The Airboard Freeride sled is filled with air, which means a bit of cushioning as you land all those jumps you’re sure to hit on this baby. Its smooth surface and sleek design, including an upturned nose, help the sled positively surge down those snowy hills. The sled comes with a pump that allows for easy inflation and its cold-resistant valve ensures the Airboard will hold its shape. Your fine fast ride comes at a rather steep price, with an Airboard costing the better part of $600, but you can’t put a price on wonderful winter fun! Actually, you probably can. That’s why we also included those lower priced adult sleds.